A Family Doctor's Tale - FAMILY COUNSELOR

FAMILY COUNSELOR

A family doctor is sometimes part of a family  of patients.
I have seen the grandfather, the father and mother and the children. After 37 years I am also seeing the children (the 4th generation) of the children.

Problems in the family are entrusted to you:
complaints about the children and their parents, incompatibility  between spouses, spouse beating husbands,cancer stricken patients, terminal patients.

You have to handle the emotional impacts on the family and suggest ways to get them out of their depression and work out their problems together.

An aggrieved housewife whose husband and family I know very well came to see me for body aches and tiredness brought about by the chemotherapy for her breast cancer after mastectomy (removal of one breast as a result of the cancer ).

I was asking about her family when she broke down and said that she was thinking of divorcing her husband. I was shocked because I know her husband who was a very pleasant person. He also had coronary bypass surgery about 8 years ago. 

 She complained that he was always out playing golf while she was suffering at home from the pain and depression of losing her breast and the side effects of the chemotherapy.

During her husband's bypass surgery she took good care of him making sure that he has enough rest and cook special soups for him to recover from his heart operation quickly. Now that she is suffering from a major illness, there appear to be no sympathy from him and he spend his days playing golf every day. She would like him to at least show some concern about her and her illness.
 I told her that as a man he probably do not realize that his behavior was uncaring. I told her not to worry too much and concentrate on getting herself well.

In the meantime I contacted the husband and asked him to come down to the clinic so that I can talk to him about his wife's illness.
He was  worried and came down to the clinic direct from his golf game. I told him about his wife's complaints and her emotional outburst. He was surprised to hear that there was so much anger against him. He realized that he should have paid more attention to his wife and spend more time with her instead of playing golf.
Having the husband understand the situation, I was satisfied that he would do the right thing for his wife.

I was informed by a much happier wife that her husband did talked to her and apologized for his behavior saying that he did not realized how insensitive he was. Since then he has given up his golf and spend more time with her talking and helping her to overcome her illness. 

It is indeed satisfying when you can help husband and wife reconcile their differences. In fact when you can help a couple talk about their unhappiness with each other, it helps them to realize what the other person is feeling about the spouse. the wife thanked me for talking to her husband saying that if I have not spoken to him he will never realize how inconsiderate he was to her. It was a happy ending.

A family doctor is sometimes also a family counselor and a friend.

It is important to realize that the well being of a patient and recovery from a serious illness such as cancer depends on help and support from her family.

There are many instances when a family doctor can help reconcile a family . This is one of the many instances.